By Noriko Nakada
I’m showing up today, y’all, but I’m exhausted. From working my own day job. From parenting my two kids. From breathing on the flames of a writing career I’m hoping will someday generate more than a couple of flickers from hot coals. I’m exhausted from the news. The devastating bad news. The possibly good news. The potential for what might come soon, might come later, might not come at all.
Knock on wood if you’re with me.
I’ve been watching lots of tv to escape and see the world right now. One of my late-summer guilty pleasures is Hard Knocks. It’s an HBO Sports production following an NFL camp throughout the preseason. I’ve been watching for years, even though I’ve written off the NFL #IStandWithKap. This season, Coach Gruden of the Raiders does this thing where he says, “Knock on wood if you’re with me.” When he says this, the players rap on the tables around them and it’s a cosign for whatever he’s said.
I started using this in my classes. “So, the author here is clearly unreliable. Knock on wood if you’re with me.” It works. My middle school students knock on wood. Or they don’t, but at least a few do and it always wakes up the room for a few seconds.
Knock on wood if you’re with me.
So, tonight I’m going to breathe. On this warm fall night that still feels like summer, I’ll put a few words on the page, close my eyes to the news cycles spinning, kiss my kids goodnight, and breathe. In the morning there will be a fresh day, a new page to write, new headlines to unpack, another school day for my students and my children, and sometimes it is enough to just breathe. And the next day, the next week, the next month there will be endless opportunities to push, but tonight, breathing is all I’ve got.
Knock on wood if you’re with me.
Noriko Nakada is the editor of the Breathe and Push column. She writes, blogs, tweets, and parents in Los Angeles. She is committed to writing thought-provoking creative non-fiction, fiction, and poetry.