By Nicole R. Zimmerman
“One thing I know about writing is that you don’t have to be in the mood to do it.” — Julia Cameron, The Right to Write
Morning pages. Morning stillness. Starting anew on a Monday. Stars are still visible while birds sing up the day as you sit in your pajamas to write. If all you ever penned were these pages, would they be enough? Doubtful. Your hunger is a whisper, gnawing from within. No need to feed the beast an entire feast at once. It’s easy to get overwhelmed.
Start with a few words, a few pages. Find relief writing in the cool morning. No pressure to produce. No worries about whether or not it’s worthy—of that award, that publication. Just put words on this page. And that one. Grateful for the blue pen at 5:30 AM. Turn to the next. See how easy that was? Here’s permission to go wild on the page. You don’t have to be perfect. Just have fun.
Yes, the taskmaster wants it all done without a fuss, without the mess of emotions. Ah, that impatient critic! It has little room for complaints. But sometimes an inner voice needs coaxing. Attend to it. This is not a performance, not a play. Unless it’s an imaginary game of let’s pretend. When you were little and talked to stuffed animals and made up games and dances did you ever wonder who might be watching or worry whether or not you were good enough? Is that what you’re afraid of? When did it start? Maybe you have many works in progress to see to completion. The same way you read books: stuck midway in the stack.
Where to begin? Where to dig in? What were you last working on? Where did you leave it? Give it an hour, without any outcome in mind. Read your work through and jot down a few notes. Let curiosity lead. Sit with frustration. Allow the uncomfortable feelings and self-doubt to arise (“I don’t know where this is going!”). It’s okay not to know. Uncertainty is human. Later you can look for the big-picture view, mapping the manuscript.
How can you make writing more manageable, less insurmountable? Establish systems to support your creative life. Instead of listing all those aspirations, why not mark what’s done? Like a child’s incentive chart with stickers to celebrate any progress made. Too often we berate ourselves for being unproductive instead of honoring the small wins.
Warming up your writing muscles may feel like starting anew at the gym; effort is required to pull yourself to and fro on the rowing machine before the flow. It’s tempting to spend your time reading about writing instead of writing. But putting off writing will only make it a chore. So many things compete for your attention. Later you can tally the credit card, get the groceries, look over that insurance policy, hang laundry on the line.
Stop pushing those writerly dreams to the sidelines. Keep moving forward, step by small step. Now, look up and notice the inky sky switch to cobalt while you scribble.
Nicole R. Zimmerman (she/her) is a queer Jewish writer with an MFA from the University of San Francisco. Her writing, including nominations for the Pushcart Prize and The Best American Essays, appears in literary journals such as Sonora Review, The Rumpus, and Creative Nonfiction. Nicole lives with her wife on a sheep farm in Northern California and leads women’s writing workshops that follow the Amherst Writers & Artists method. https://www.nicolerzimmerman.com/